I'm just a chemist . . . but that doesn't mean I don't know me some wisdom.

Some of the best wisdom I can come up with at the moment.

• Read the book of Proverbs often, even if you're not religious
• Try whatever the lady at the asian grocery store tells you to try. It won't kill you
• When an emergency vehicle approaches you from the rear, move into the right lane--no further. Never, ever, move to the left.
• Learn CPR, and keep your certification current
• If it sounds too good to be true, it is too good to be true
• Learn to recognize pyramid scams
• If someone you don't know ever beckons you to approach them. . . don't!
• Try to visualize the results of your actions before they occur. Change plans accordingly.
• Treat everyone with respect, whether they deserve it or not
• Don't screw with the City of Clinton public works. They will cut your water off.
• Don't take your family for granted. Circumstances change such that you may end up more dependent upon them. Also, remember that people die. They just may not be here tomorrow.
• Don't ever give your credit card number to the internet porno people, unless you really feel like owning up to the fact that you did, when the internet porno people screw you out of money. And they will. That's how they make their money.
• If you put yourself in league with unscrupulous people, don't be surprrised when they take advantage of you or cheat you.
• Don't worry about regretting things, you'll probably regret not doing them later.
• Every now and then, tell your conscience to STFU and let you enjoy your life--I'm not saying that commiting murder, sex-crimes, adultery, anything that could be considered a felony, or kicking dogs is okay. I'm talking about the small stuff.--
• Either learn to cook or get used to washing dishes. Opossites do attract.
• In college, don't just take the easy courses. Find something interesting to you and study it too.
• Don't feel like you need to pray about everything. God created you to be able to make your own decisions
• Gasoline goes in gas-tanks only. Using it for any other purpose is among the best ways to end up in a burn center. And burn centers smell really, really bad.
• Do whatever a cop tells you to do, the first time he tells you to do it, as soon as he tells you to. And smile while you do. This will take care of 90% of problems regaurding the police. Feel free to disregard this bit of advice if you work in EMS and are at work--I do.
• The bank will give you some of your overdraft charges back as a refund, if you ask nicely.
• Never, ever, raise your voice when speaking with anyone you want to keep listening to you.
• Learn the rules of logic. A good book won't cost you much, and the knowledge will honestly change your life.
• Wash your hands often.
• Never be afraid to ask for clarification. It's better than looking like an ass later.
• There are two people in the world you never, ever want to piss-off: Your barber, and your dentist.
• If you don't know your Social Security number by heart. . . learn it. The same goes for every other pertinent piece of information you might need to supply to emergency personel, hospitals, the police, hotel desk clerks, and potential employers.
• Learn how to keep your mouth shut sometimes. Not everyone needs to know what you're thinking, even if you think it might improve their life somehow.
• If you treat your woman like crap, don't be suprised when she leaves you
• If you let your man treat you like crap, don't be suprised that he takes you for granted
• If you know someone who treats you better than your boyfriend/girlfriend, consider that maybe you're with the wrong person
• If you're puzzled by someone's behavior, one of the following things is probably true. 1)They're not telling you something. 2)They're very uncomfortable. 3)They have an ulterior motive.
• If something feels suspicious, then it is suspicious. Proceed with due caution.
• Figure out what the phrase, "Never look a gift horse in the mouth." means. And take it to heart.
• When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Unleass you're deathly allergic. Everybody understands, "I'm sorry, but if I do/eat that, I will die."
• If you find yourself unwilling to "Do as the Romans do", don't go to Rome. (Yes, that is figurative.)
• If you have no legitimate reason to be in a particular part of town, stay out of that part of town. And, no, the fact that someone in that part of town will sell you something you cannot obtain legally in your part of town, does not count as a legitimate reason. That's how people get killed.
• Be aware of your surroundings.
• Acquire a good reference book of human anatomy. Your car cost tens of thousands of dollars. It came with an owners manual. And, now it's value is a lot less than when you bought it. Your body was free. It did not come with an owner's manual. It's value has always been, and will always be greater than you can measure. Consider an anatomy textbook a good investment.
• Wash your hands after you tie your shoes. Shit rolls downhill and so does everything else. Your shoelaces are freaking nasty.
• Employment is sorta like gambling, except there are no odds, no jackpots, and you always go home with more money than you brought.
• Only one out of every ten-thousand eggs is contaminated with Salmonela. Eat your eggs however you like them best.
• Don't tip your waiter/waitress based on how good the service was. Tip your waiter/waitress based on how much of a pain in the ass you were.
• Learn how to use a dictionary and other reference books.