Stuff that really chaps my hide
10/03/05
People who cut in line
Fast food workers who act
like you’re not standing 3 feet in front of them
Pushy old people
Pushy people in general
When a pharmacy makes you hang
out in the store for fifteen minutes before they’ll give
You your medicine, just so
you’ll buy stuff, when it took about three minutes to
Put your order together.
When somebody’s cat/dog gets
into the trash and scatters it all over the curb. Keep your
pets
inside.
People who never try to see
any situation from anyone else’s point of view
Wal-mart
People who act like walking
for a few minutes is going to kill them
The fact that they only pick
up garbage twice a week
People who get in a hurry when
there’s traffic
The way I keep house
People who
interrupt you while you’re reading to ask, “What’ya readin’?”
People who create their own
parking spaces
People who act like their
coffee/cappuccino/etc. isn’t any good unless it’s made
‘right’.
People who
don’t tip/tip badly. Here’s a suggestion: tip based on how much of a pain in the butt you are.
People who
don’t realize that homeless pets are not pets. They’re pests,
just like rats, mice, and cockroaches.
People who
kill the non-poisonous snakes that live in their yard. HELLO! SNAKES EAT RATS!
When I have
rats in my apartment.
People who
try to talk to you in public restrooms.
Men who
piss on toilet seats.
Women that complain about men
leaving the toilet seat up. Get
this: It’s a compromise. We put it up.
You put it down. Everybody’s
happy. Or, we can revert to pissing on
toilet seats.
Speaking of toilets; People who don’t
flush. Do you flush at home?
People who treat folks, in service industries, like crap.
Reality TV
People who
can’t seem to read signs.
Littering
People who complain about
second hand smoke outside their own home
Panhandlers
People who can’t accept that
if they get pulled over for speeding , then YES, they
DESERVE a ticket. (And similar situations up to and including murder=capitol
punishment)
When people tell you the long
drawn out story about how good a deal they got on their car. I used to work at a car dealership. If a good deal from your perspective means
that the dealership hardly made any profit off of you, you probably still got
ripped off. Besides, there’s a lot
higher markup on beverages. Ever tell
somebody what a good deal you got on a Coke?
You’re a victim of capitalism too.
10/05/05
Mother’s
Day/Father’s Day/etc. Any “holiday” which falls annually on a
Sunday, yet is not a religious observance does not qualify as a legitimate
holiday. I love my mother and father
(lots of people) all year, yet if I foul up and forget to send a card on Your
day goes here, then I’m a bad son/brother/grandson/coworker/boss/etc. ? Do people need
affirmation so much that we have to create a holiday for them for no
discernable reason, aside from some schmuck thought it was a good idea?
People who won’t let you
forget that their birthday is approaching and feel offended if it isn’t an
event you’ll drop everything to be present for.
Congratulations! And tomorrow
you’ll be another day older. Three
hundred sixty five and a quarter days out of the year, people are born. What’s so special about today?
10/11/05
Women
10/25/05
People who say you can call
them when you feel bad, but never answer their phone.
Cheap
furniture.
People who
give you scripture when you need a hug.
The fact
that, in today’s society, it’s never just okay to feel bad. You always
have to do something about it. Why can’t
we just do what comes naturally? People
always want you to cheer up, but they won’t do anything to solve the problems
that make you feel bad. Even if you
state what’s dragging you down very clearly, no-one does anything, because
nobody really cares about you—they just want
you to be happy. Well, it’s been said
that you can want in one hand and defecate in the other and see which one fills
up first. Stop wanting people to feel better, until you start intending to do something to help.
Murderers,
rapists, child-molesters, men who beat their wives/girlfriends/kids,
shoplifters, and people who speed on the Natchez Trace.
People who won’t tell you the
truth, because they’re afraid they’ll hurt your feelings.
11/07/05
When you
walk into someplace drinking a cup of coffee and someone asks if you brought
them coffee too. Why am I expected to bring you coffee? Are you incapable of getting your own
coffee? You didn’t ask me to bring you
coffee.
Bureaucracy
People who routinely get the
state you’re from wrong. How many times
do I have to tell you, I’m from
Inclement weather
Anybody who
is vegetarian because they won’t support cruelty to animals. Prove to me
that broccoli doesn’t have emotions or deserve humane treatment. It’s all cellular tissue. The major difference is whether there is a
cell wall or not.
11/10/05
The
incredible difficulty in grocery shopping for just one person.
The fact
that it’s impossible to prepare a decent meal for one person without having to
eat leftovers for the rest of the week.
Excessively
picky eaters. You’re allowed to have a few foods you just really don’t like, but not so many that it’s impossible to
invite you to dinner unless the menu is planned around what you will eat.
Coming home
to an empty house.
People who abuse welfare and
Medicaid, and, I guess, any kind of charity
People who
gripe about immigrants not being able to speak English. The
Somehow Froot-Loops
weren’t good enough when they were just orange, lemon, and cherry.
11/27/05
The fact that it seems I must
sacrifice my own sanity for the well being of my friends.
That I can’t get no satisfaction.
12/04/05
That I’m always at a distance
from those I want to be close to.
Finding my teacup, hours
later, where I left it to steep.
The fact
that not leaving my house for days on end has become normal.
12/25/07
Organic chemistry students
who act like they’ve never heard of the CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics
Having to
travel for holidays. It’s a holiday. How come I have to do so much work?
People who
misspell my name. C’mon . . . D-U-N-C-A-N. Don’t tell me you’ve never seen it. King Duncan, from MacBeth.
Sandy Duncan. Tim Duncan. Duncan Heinz.
Email forwards which include
instructions to reforward them. If I thought the content was worth forwarding
to all of my contacts . . . right, I’m a grown man . . . I can make that
decision.
My cellular service provider
is the ONLY company which telemarkets to my cell
number. I’M ALLREADY PAYING YOU . . .
LEAVE ME ALONE!
02/28/2014
Door-to-door
salesmen (and religious proselytizers). In the American Market, there
is just no need for that. Go away!
People who
gripe excessively about taxation. Don’t gripe about paying taxes . . . gripe
about what you get for your tax dollars!
People who
are afraid of vaccination/medication. Don’t take your health for granted. And don’t take the medical community for
granted. We are all part of a society
which is effected by systemic health issues. Don’t assume you have a clue about how to
solve such systemic problems just because you can read Wikipedia.
People who believe they can
pass on real wisdom in a Facebook post.
It’s probably not going to happen.
People who pray that ‘God’s
Will’ be done. It’s God’s will that the
Earth turn, that unstable isotopes decay, and that frozen water floats in
liquid water. Most of what is God’s will
got laid down when he determined the fundamental laws of nature. If I don’t get the job I’m waiting to hear
about, does that mean it wasn’t God’s will?
No! It means that several supervisors,
managers and HR professionals decided that I didn’t fit the position. That’s all.
God’s will is that the sun comes up tomorrow . . . or doesn’t. It you’re tossing around the phrase ‘God’s
Will’ as though everything that happens is, you probably ought to read the
first few chapters of Genesis. God tells
Adam and Eve not to eat fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil . . .
because that was his will. They
disobeyed. That was not his will. God’s will is not always what happens. God wanted Cain and Abel to give him their
first fruits . . . because that was his will.
Instead of making an acceptable sacrifice to God, Cain festered in
jealousy of and then murdered Abel . . . not God’s will. See how it works?
Shopping
for clothes. My size is ridiculously hard to find. Something about being short
and stocky. Not fat. The fat part isn’t helping, but the major
problem is that my pelvis and neck are too big around for the length of my arms
and legs.
People who
protest in public. Get a web page.